Week 6- Marriage contracts

This week we talked a lot in class about how to best ensure that we have a happy and strong marriage. One such thing was to discuss each others roles during our engagement and courtship so we know what we are each doing, and there are no misunderstandings. This is something that I have always been encouraged to do by my parents, but something that I had never considered was how important it was for the marriage to include the dad in everything. Don't get me wrong, I had always planned on the dad being involved in everything, but I never knew how crucial it was to a marriage.

Often, when a child is born, mom will decide that it is her responsibility and ends up shutting out the dad. In order to avoid this, I pinky-swore to my neighbor that I would get my husband involved. I promised that I would let him talk to my stomach, no matter how weird I think it is. I promised I would let my husband feel the kicks, go to appointments with me, and go baby shopping with my husband. (That's shopping for baby things, not for the baby's themselves). I also promised that choosing the baby name would be a joint decision, and I would involve him in preparing for labor. We would jointly discuss our responsibilities and hopes for the future, both immediate and long term. I promised that the husband would take the night shift with the baby,  I would make sure that we had dates together both before and after the baby is born, even if it a candle light dinner of big macs. I will also make sure that I don't express criticism, rather love and appreciation. I would also make sure that dad is in the delivery room, no matter how uncomfortable he is there.

Week 5- Genogram

This past week I have been looking into my family. I chose to do the Genogram, that is, plot 4 generations of your family and then display the significant relationships between members. I was able to discover some really neat stuff. Like, for example, my great grandmother (my mom's dad's mom) grew up for a major part of her life in a convent in the Swiss Alps. She was sent there so that her family could afford to feed all the children. She was farmed out from the convent to live in atrocious living quarters, mostly in the attics or decrepit basements of the poorer families in the area. She acted as a maid, nanny, or whatever else the family needed from her. She wore rags and shoes that were several sizes too small. (Keep in mind this is in the Alps, so its not exactly balmy). I found this fascinating. It helped to explain to me why she worked so doggone hard her whole life. She worked on the farm till the day she died, in her late 90's. It also helped to explain to me why she valued hard work so much. After all, it was her hard work that got her to America, that country which she loved so much.

I also discovered that she and my great grandpa, Albert homesteaded in Montana, as they worked their way to Western Washington. She had to stay on the homestead 24/7 while Albert went off to look for work every day. In order to keep the homestead, there had to be someone on the property for x amount of time. So she patiently stayed on the same plot of land day after day, and would walk out to the edge of the property every day, to see if she could see any other person.

When I think of all that my great grandparents sacrificed so that my grandparents, parents, and my cousins and I could have the freedoms and blessings that we do in this country, I am awestruck. Knowing all that they endured, helps me to understand why my family holds certain values, and why we are the way we are. Knowing your personal family history is so important. It gives you a stronger sense of who you are, where you come from, and knowing your history can help you to improve your future.

Week 4- Gender Roles

This week we talked about how our gender roles affect our families. I found it fascinating. Thinking about how my family dynamics would change if I were of a different gender, and what defines me in my gender. We talked about typical gender roles, and how the most self sufficient people do typical gender tasks of both genders. I thought it was interesting that to become a well rounded female, you can't just learn to cook, clean, sew, care for children, etc. you also need to know how to mow the lawn, fix things, operate heavy machinery, etc.  

I found it particularly interesting applying this to the Family a Proclamation. Knowing that we have had our genders for eternity helped me to decipher which typical gender characteristics were divinely nurtured and which were societal influences. For example, that females are more caring and nurturing is Divinely nurtured. That men are more protective and have more of a tendency to lead is also Divinely nurtured. (Not that I am saying men are the head in the household, they only have presiding power. That is, guiding influence over the family. The parents should be a team)

It is also interesting to think how the gender roles of society often interfere with the gender roles of our Heavenly Father. Like if women spend so much time on their appearance and end up neglecting their children and family. Or if men become too focused on "manly endeavors" that they forget to provide for their families.

Satan has a way of twisting and perverting the things which God has ordained to make it so that they interfere with what God has planned for us.

Week 3- Social Class

     This week we talked about the effect social class has on families. I was surprised. It may be because my family has multiple classes within it, so I am used to all sorts of things. I enjoy sitting around a bonfire just as much as going to a black tie event. So I was surprised that so many attributed family values to social class.

     I feel that the class you are in really has little effect on your family values, what matters most is your community, who you associate with, who you spend the most time with, who your friends and family are. I feel that the values held by your community effects how successful your family is more than your social class.

     I feel the most crucial aspect whether or not your family makes it, is the level of dedication to money that you have. Money, more than anything, I feel has the potential to spiritually destroy families. This observation is drawn from the videos my class had to watch. It seemed that those to whom money mattered the most had harder family life, their values were skewed. This tended to be on both extremes of the scale, the upper and middle classes.

     Satan is really smart. He knows how to destroy one of the most important things we have, the family, through something we need for it to survive, that is, money. A family can survive without money, sure, but it cannot thrive. Everyone needs some money in order to function properly in this world. Satan knows that, and takes advantage, turning it into something people can get sucked into. That drive for money has destroyed nations, individuals, and, most tragically, entire families.