This week in class we talked a little bit about the unspoken rules and boundaries that exist in families. As I reflected on this, I realized how much these unspoken rules affect us. In my family we had many unspoken rules, boundaries that you just didn't cross.
1. Respect and obey Gram (the matriarch and more importantly, the pie maker of the family), your parents, and the other adults in the family.
2. Never complain about a meal prepared for you, especially if there's pie afterwards. Everything is always good, anyways (well, a hot dog pizza is the exception).
3. Never sit back while others are working- especially if the cows or turkeys are out. No one can sit that out, even gram is out there helping (usually against everyone's advise, but she's out there)
4. Never sit down when there is work to be done.
5. Hug Gram when you walk in.
6. Never call your parent's by their first name.
7. The cousins will always be called my nicknames, except the youngest. (Miss, Mar, Court, K(or KK), Log, Curt, Mandy, and Jacob-the exception to the rule)-It's just weird when I get called by my full name, I feel like I must have done something wrong.
8. Always laugh at everybody's jokes, especially Dad's, even if it's just a pity laugh.
9. Always say hello when you come through the door.
10. Always stand and walk out guests and family (extended) leaving your house.
*11. When Gramps was still alive, you just NEVER mentioned the county. In fact, we still don't mention Politics to my dad.
These are just a few of the more obvious rules unspoken in my family, but whenever someone breaks one of those rules, the whole family (especially the kids) cringe and wait for the backlash.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Week 1- Why does it matter?
So, this week in my family relations class, we have been looking at statistics, and watched some videos today about the dangers of declining populations and fertility rates. In many countries the fertility rate is below population replacement. Which is bad. This leads to economic downfall and less resources than a booming population would. The current popular view of population is that less is more, when in actuality, the more people we have, the more resources, innovations, progress, GDP, and functionality we have as a society. However, the fertility rate in America is falling, with the average woman having an average of 2.06 children in her lifetime as of 2011.
So, you may ask yourselves, why does this matter? Well, it means inevitable collapse of social security as there are more retirees needing funds than there are workers to sustain them. It means loneliness as the trend of only children rises, leading to families with no aunts, uncles, or cousins. Which in turn, leads to dysfunctional societies, as less and less people learn to work with others through compromise. The housing market will crash, as less homes are needed to house the populous. There will be less progress, as less and less people feel the need to explore and innovate new ways to sustain a new generation, as this new generation can just have the leftovers of the old. There are less influences on children by siblings and peers, and more adult indulgence. There are less educated.
But, perhaps the single most important reason to have more children, is that, if you are not having as many children as the Lord needs, that spirit still needs to come to earth, which means SOMEONE ELSE IS RAISING YOUR CHILD. Do you trust a perfect stranger to raise your child? To instill in them the values and knowledge that you hold so dear? They are no longer coming to the home that would best help them mature into who they are.
As the world puts less and less value on children and family, we, as a society need to cling to those things which are most important. The worth of children and family goes far beyond our personal development, and enters into the secular, affecting the world's economy and future in ways that many do not realize. With the fall of the family comes the fall of the world. I fear that we often ignore or forget the importance and sacred nature of the family which leads to much more devastating effects than us being lonely. We have condemned spirit children to go where they were not meant to go. They miss out on the environment best suited to their development and maturity, and we miss out on their influence over us.
So why does this matter?
So, you may ask yourselves, why does this matter? Well, it means inevitable collapse of social security as there are more retirees needing funds than there are workers to sustain them. It means loneliness as the trend of only children rises, leading to families with no aunts, uncles, or cousins. Which in turn, leads to dysfunctional societies, as less and less people learn to work with others through compromise. The housing market will crash, as less homes are needed to house the populous. There will be less progress, as less and less people feel the need to explore and innovate new ways to sustain a new generation, as this new generation can just have the leftovers of the old. There are less influences on children by siblings and peers, and more adult indulgence. There are less educated.
But, perhaps the single most important reason to have more children, is that, if you are not having as many children as the Lord needs, that spirit still needs to come to earth, which means SOMEONE ELSE IS RAISING YOUR CHILD. Do you trust a perfect stranger to raise your child? To instill in them the values and knowledge that you hold so dear? They are no longer coming to the home that would best help them mature into who they are.
As the world puts less and less value on children and family, we, as a society need to cling to those things which are most important. The worth of children and family goes far beyond our personal development, and enters into the secular, affecting the world's economy and future in ways that many do not realize. With the fall of the family comes the fall of the world. I fear that we often ignore or forget the importance and sacred nature of the family which leads to much more devastating effects than us being lonely. We have condemned spirit children to go where they were not meant to go. They miss out on the environment best suited to their development and maturity, and we miss out on their influence over us.
So why does this matter?
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
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