Week 10- Working Mothers

So last week, before we left for thanksgiving break, we talked about the effect that working mothers have on the family and society. I found it interesting that upon deeper reflection, even the positives that the book found for the children of working mothers were not in actuality positives but signs of a problematic home life.

For example, the book states that all things being equal (things like a higher income overall for families with stay at home moms, individual temperaments of children, etc.) four year old children of working moms showed less hyperactivity, more prosocial activity, and less anxiety of the children of nonworking moms. These may sound like good things at first glance, but if you know anything about the development of children,  these are actually bad things.

First, four year olds should be hyperactive, it is a good thing, and at that stage in their development, they need to be, it helps with their development both physical and cognitive.

Second, the fact that those children are more prosocial, may be an indication that they are seeking to form attachments to others as they might not have a warm loving relationship with their parents, since both parents would understandably be exhausted after a long work day, and having to come home and get all the chores and meals done. These parents might not have time to be patient and loving to their children, who are more than likely wound up since mommy and daddy are finally home. So, for the child to develop healthily, they need to form attachments to others.

Third, less anxiety is also not necessarily a good thing. If a child is used to being left by mom or dad, they might take that as a norm. Children need structure, they thrive on it, so when they become passive about changes, it can be a warning sign.

Basically, working moms aren't good for the family or society. You can work around this if you have a flexible work from home schedule, but, overall, it isn't very good for a healthy family environment.

Week 9- Family Council

So Friday in class, we talked about how the Presidency and the Twelve counsel weekly. I thought it would be something that could really help with my family, to have a family counsel every week. In class we talked about how the Presidency and the Twelve  first, meet in a set time at a set place. I think that it would be really cool to incorporate that into my future families life. Another thing that they to is to express love and concern before doing anything else. I want to do this with my family as it will bring in a Spirit of love and cooperation and appreciation. This will lead to a better setting in which the Spirit can dwell. They then say a prayer to invite the Spirit, which I also plan to do in my future family counsel, to invite the spirit. After that, they discuss the problem or issue and go around, with the Prophet suggesting what they would like to see happen, and pass it down asking everyone if they agree or have any impressions about the problem. I also plan to do this as I feel it would be the best way for each family member to have time to respond and express their concerns and inspirations. After reaching consensus regarding the Lord's Will (which I plan on being the goal of my future family counsels), they close the meeting with a prayer and then have pie or chocolate. I plan on doing this with my family too because If I close the counsel with a prayer, I am dedicating our commitment to His Will, and putting an end to it. And I plan on having pie, because nothing bonds people like eating pie together.

I think that this will be the best way to solve family conflict, or identify issues before they become problems.

Week 8- Family Crisis

This week in class we discussed the ABCX model in analyzing families when they go through crises. A is the actual event or stressor, B is Both resources and responses of the family members throughout the trial. C is cognitions, or what the family is thinking at the time. X is the total experience. I decided to apply this to my family's "rough patch". For A I put down the last few years, as we have just had thing after thing happen to us. Lawsuits, deaths, going through 4 vehicles in a matter of weeks (one of which was our uncles-which caught on fire, through no fault of our own) Loss of jobs, several health issues, appliances breaking down on us, severe storms, etc.  B was quite lengthy as well. My family had quite a few resources, I suppose our greatest was our Faith, and knowledge that there is a bigger picture, and though hard, our trials will eventually end, and we will be thankful for them. I also believe that our sense of humor and down to earth, do what needs to be done with a smile on your face mentality was a great resource to us. Other resources we had were family, close friends, and our strength as a family unit, our self-sufficient habits and skills (ability to cut our own firewood, can our own food, having a food storage). Our cognitions were diverse. I felt they were all fairly healthy. Granted, we did have our moments of doubt and frustration, but overall, we were looking to the future, looking for the steps that needed to be taken today, and laughing at all that had happened previously. When the truck caught on fire, my mom was laughing so hard she had to walk away so the State Patrol wouldn't see her tears. Plus, the cops usually don't like to see people laughing hysterically at the scene of an accident. I feel that based on all of these factors, our family's total experience was strengthened through these events.

I especially liked learning about the strengths and abilities that make a family grow closer through these trials and plan to employ them in my future family. I want to be able to survive a situation like that with my future husband and children. (Not to say I am wishing for a situation like that, I just want the skills that would help me survive.)

Week 7 Physical Intimacy

Well this week was a little awkward being in class, but it was actually good to know. We talked about the purpose of physical intimacy. we also talked about how often people don't prepare for it, and just assume things will all be wonderful as soon as they are married. People should talk about it towards the end of their engagement and reading "And They Are Not Ashamed" was suggested. Not together, but separately and in a well populated area (as to avoid any temptations that might be brought forth). What I found most curious though, was the cycle that Brother Williams brought up. Women tend to want a feeling of safety, security, and commitment before they will feel comfortable enough to become sexual. Men tend to become sexual to feel safety, security, and commitment. Realizing this, and keeping the other person's feelings in mind might make the intimacy a little easier in marriage.